IF
IF
Your idea of a marriage proposal is to to say "despite these concerns (list concerns) I love you and am therefore willing to risk the uncertainty and burdens of marrying you"
Don't be surprised if they not only turn you down, but likely break it off with you. If they don't, then even more reason for YOU to turn tail and run, because obviously they haven't an ounce of self esteem in their entire body.
More to the point, if YOU feel that "uncertain" about commiting to someone, don't propose in the first place. We all know things aren't "perfect" and life isn't a fairy tale... We even acknowledge that in our vows "for better or for WORSE." But if you are less than excited, certain, and don't want to imagine your life without this person....unless you want to be best friends, raise a family and retire with this person... Then DON'T DO IT! I made this mistake once (he was the eager proposer and I aquieced despite being uncertain.. I CONVINCED myself to do it despite uncertainties and reservations and... Of course I resented all those traits that previously concerned me - and he resented that I resented him - until finally I divorced him.) Take it from me.... I'm not suggesting that everything should be perfect... But if you feel you are settling for what you can get, or do it because of the "circumstances" rather than because its what you REALLY want, its doomed to fail.
Your idea of a marriage proposal is to to say "despite these concerns (list concerns) I love you and am therefore willing to risk the uncertainty and burdens of marrying you"
Don't be surprised if they not only turn you down, but likely break it off with you. If they don't, then even more reason for YOU to turn tail and run, because obviously they haven't an ounce of self esteem in their entire body.
More to the point, if YOU feel that "uncertain" about commiting to someone, don't propose in the first place. We all know things aren't "perfect" and life isn't a fairy tale... We even acknowledge that in our vows "for better or for WORSE." But if you are less than excited, certain, and don't want to imagine your life without this person....unless you want to be best friends, raise a family and retire with this person... Then DON'T DO IT! I made this mistake once (he was the eager proposer and I aquieced despite being uncertain.. I CONVINCED myself to do it despite uncertainties and reservations and... Of course I resented all those traits that previously concerned me - and he resented that I resented him - until finally I divorced him.) Take it from me.... I'm not suggesting that everything should be perfect... But if you feel you are settling for what you can get, or do it because of the "circumstances" rather than because its what you REALLY want, its doomed to fail.
posted by Psyche at 5:34 PM
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