Hard Lessons

One lesson I struggled against in the past is the idea that we must make room for the things we want and value in our lives - if we are to have success with them.
This is as true for relationships as for, say, school or your career. You have to prove you are ready and available and competent to get the job, the acceptance, or the guy (or girl.) But then you must also follow through and learn, compromise, etc in order to KEEP the job, STAY in school, MAINTAIN the relationship.
It took me a looong time (too long) to really understand and apply this. But once it finally sunk in, I took it seriously, and still do.
The best, if perhaps most painful, effect of the change is that when you understand that you must make room for what is important, it becomes obvious how serious OTHERS by whether they make room in THEIR lives... or whether you are just a convient peripheral. Future promises arent enough at that point.
This includes parenting. Making room to be a better parent means moving aside my career, not having a "personal life," whatever... A commitment I was ready to make BEFORE I decided to have more children.