bit off
I am still a bit "Off," not used to being without Peanut during the holidays.
I believe this is the first time I've actually let PJ have her during, rather than just before or after, a holiday.
I selfishly pray that he and Ann-Marie start having children...
I suppose I envision their feeling as though were having a "family" Christmas whether peanut was there or not. That's silly of course, I know - and am pleased by - the fact that PJ demonstrates an almost equal attachment to her as I do. I would not have 'chosen' him to be her father had he not demonstrated those very characteristics (the situation was not as deterministic as that statement makes it appear. I had been diagnosed with cancer, feared having my ability to have children removed, AND married him -after discussing this - before trying to have Peanut - as has been covered in previous blogs from years past.)
I am sure the magnanimous character of our relationship, especially considering acrimony normal associated with ex-spousalship (is that a word?) stems at least in part from out shared adoration of the paragon that is 'Peanut.'
Still, especially with grandmother in a precarious state.. well, perhaps not - though I suppose the guilt associated with leaving her in Flordia, even in Uncle Rusty's capable hands, contributes to hyperbolic thinking (on my behalf) as to the capriousness of her health.. lol...
I suppose her tendency to worry is hereditary after all.....
Anyway, to finish my primary (as in initial, rather than main) point, I am lamenting my daughter's absence, despite an otherwise lovely Christmas day.
Made some decisions and booking arrangements for future holidays:Thanksgiving 2006 will be with my parents. Come here, or Florida (if I take up Dave's offer and move myself to sunny clearwater... snce I do so hate the winters here!) or we shall come there - either way - you can't say I am totally impetuous - I am planning this an entire 11 months in advance! Additionally, next Christmas vacation will involve a ski trip.
BOTH shall involve Peanut - even if it means trading her halfway through the day!
Otherwise, it has been lovely and relaxing.. and we are planning, with Scott (and possibly Melanie?) exactly what trouble we shall get into after the symphony on New Years Eve.
I mean, it is New Years Eve, after all... I simply must get into trouble!
I havent had enough opportunities to get into good old-fashioned trouble since I was...
oh... mid 20's, I guess.
Its time I caused some. :)
I believe this is the first time I've actually let PJ have her during, rather than just before or after, a holiday.
I selfishly pray that he and Ann-Marie start having children...
I suppose I envision their feeling as though were having a "family" Christmas whether peanut was there or not. That's silly of course, I know - and am pleased by - the fact that PJ demonstrates an almost equal attachment to her as I do. I would not have 'chosen' him to be her father had he not demonstrated those very characteristics (the situation was not as deterministic as that statement makes it appear. I had been diagnosed with cancer, feared having my ability to have children removed, AND married him -after discussing this - before trying to have Peanut - as has been covered in previous blogs from years past.)
I am sure the magnanimous character of our relationship, especially considering acrimony normal associated with ex-spousalship (is that a word?) stems at least in part from out shared adoration of the paragon that is 'Peanut.'
Still, especially with grandmother in a precarious state.. well, perhaps not - though I suppose the guilt associated with leaving her in Flordia, even in Uncle Rusty's capable hands, contributes to hyperbolic thinking (on my behalf) as to the capriousness of her health.. lol...
I suppose her tendency to worry is hereditary after all.....
Anyway, to finish my primary (as in initial, rather than main) point, I am lamenting my daughter's absence, despite an otherwise lovely Christmas day.
Made some decisions and booking arrangements for future holidays:Thanksgiving 2006 will be with my parents. Come here, or Florida (if I take up Dave's offer and move myself to sunny clearwater... snce I do so hate the winters here!) or we shall come there - either way - you can't say I am totally impetuous - I am planning this an entire 11 months in advance! Additionally, next Christmas vacation will involve a ski trip.
BOTH shall involve Peanut - even if it means trading her halfway through the day!
Otherwise, it has been lovely and relaxing.. and we are planning, with Scott (and possibly Melanie?) exactly what trouble we shall get into after the symphony on New Years Eve.
I mean, it is New Years Eve, after all... I simply must get into trouble!
I havent had enough opportunities to get into good old-fashioned trouble since I was...
oh... mid 20's, I guess.
Its time I caused some. :)
posted by Psyche at 9:40 PM
<< Home